This Sunday I was diddling around the house doing my usual thing-- cleaning, decorating and rearranging. We live in a 1940s house, so to say our floors are uneven would be an understatement. I moved a locker that I use for storage to a place its never been in and when I stepped back to look at it, it was very obvious that it was not level. It looked atrocious. But I loved the actual location of the locker. So, what did I do? Found something to rig it up. Duh.
I went into the office and found a small, almost-used-up notebook that I have had for a few years (my name is anna rowland and I am a notebook hoarder) It was the perfect size to put under one end of this locker to make it level. Before I stuck it under there I wanted to make sure there was nothing too important in it.
When I opened the notebook, my heart skipped a beat. It was the notebook I took to my first appointment with my doctor after my diagnosis last year of Minimal Change Disease. I had written down a series of questions I wanted to ask her. I had written down just about every word that came out of her mouth in that appointment. But what really broke my heart was when I noticed the rippled pages from my tears at that appointment. I was just so confused and physically in such an odd state- I just didnt know what to make of it.
When I turned the pages I found another page I had written notes from a followup visit 7 days later. I remember I had finally been given some answers and started treatment but the first couple of weeks yielded NO results. I went into that appointment emotionally drained and physically unbearable.
The notes on this page were a little different. I remember being even more confused and upset at this appointment than any other. I didnt even know what to write, so I literally just started writing a list of all the good things in my life. The grand, the small, the tiny blessings in disguise. Person by person, friend by friend, thing by thing. Im certain that some of you reading this were on that list too. Such randomness, but all goodness.
After reading through the pages it hit me-- on that day that I found this notebook was one year exactly to when I had been in the hospital and gotten my diagnosis. Chills went down my spine.
Do I think I found this notebook on purpose. Absolutely 100% yes. I have about a million notebooks and easily could have selected another one. Finding this notebook was such a gentle reminder of the beautiful things that have taken up this year of my life. Too many to list. Even for just that moment, I was able to stop and ponder the goodness in life.
I am officially in remission from Minimal Change Disease and have no remaining symptoms. But more importantly, I am no longer that scared girl at Dr Greens office. I am completely confident that whatever God brings my way, He will see me through to completion.
Life is such a weird thing. Am I right?
It seems like each passing year brings me a lot of moments when I'm just like.....😳😳😳😳😳😳
But life is truly so sweet.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. Thank you for riding this crazy roller coaster of life with me. I am thankful for you.