I can already tell that my step mom's blog is going to be a major source of referencing and copying. (In the few short months that Connie has been posting I have already stolen several things from her blog.) A few days ago, a particular post had such a profound affect on me. You can see the full post HERE.
After Dad had his stroke it was easy to see things differently and to feel like you have "lost" someone. As crazy as it may sound, in some ways it truly can evoke similar feelings that have been there when you have a real loss in your family. The beautiful thing about it is there is no loss at all. Some mobility and speech may have been taken away, but you can never take away Dad's sweet and special spirit. You can never take away his personality, thoughtfulness and loving nature. I think this truth sort of hit me one day when I was in high school. I came out to my car to leave school after cheerleading practice and noticed a note on my car. As I took it off the window I noticed my step mom's writing on it. I started to read it and realized it was just random writing of some to-do list she was making. The paper was torn to where some of the list was cut off. I was pretty confused at this point and got in the car and began to call Connie to question what was going on. As I began to dial her number, I sat the note down on the passenger seat of my car. The thin and somewhat wet paper easily flipped over and I noticed that I had never even thought to flip the paper over and look at the back. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw the jumbled writing that said "Love you." Below that phrase was signed "Ronnie", but I didn't have to see the name to know it was from my daddy. It was in that moment when I saw the light as well. After years of living with Dad in his condition, I finally saw the reality that he was still "daddy". He still possessed all of the incredible and loving qualities that he always had. It just goes to show that no person or thing can take away your joy. He is and will always be my "daddy".