Thursday, October 30, 2014

Is this real life?

Warning: The following post is complete and utter rambling nonsense about my morning. Feel free to click away now or move on to more exciting posts.

This morning I woke up early. I decided I would take the day off from the gym and instead take a little "down time" at the  local coffee shop on the square and take in some pumpkin spiced coffee while catching up on reading my new book. Great idea, right?

From the moment my alarm woke me up, it was just complete nonsense.

Exhibit A.
I woke up and began my morning routine. I drank the last of the milk in the fridge and instead of taking up too much room in my freshly changed trash bag, I would just throw it in the big trash can in the back yard. As soon as little Abraham Lincoln hears the noise of the back deadbolt opening, he shoots out the door like a rocket. So, naturally, I shoot out after him because its 6:30am and the grass is wet and I don't want his nappy feet to dirty up my freshly cleaned floors. I bolt out the door as well, barefoot, in my pjs.  He thinks it's a fun game of hide and seek and starts to jump all around the back yard- meanwhile, I am chasing him and screaming. Once, I have finally captured the little assailant, I notice that my neighbor is sitting on his back porch. Laughing. Witnessing this entire thing.

Exhibit B.
 I was feeling a bit jazzy this morning, so I picked out a fun black romper. Mind you, this romper was not exactly work friendly, so I modified it with some black tights and a scarf! It was kind of fun and cute, so I ventured on out to my coffee shop!
I got some coffee and naturally, it ran right through me, so I went to use the restroom.
When I got into the restroom I noticed two things.
1. The light switch was very strange and was on a timer with a knob and also in an awkward place- it took me some time to even figure it out. So, I quickly turned the knob and went about my business.
2. Not only did I have on a one piece romper, but the romper had three awkward buttons in the top back of it. Lets also throw into the mix that I had on tights and heels. Triple whammy.

By the time I maneuvered myself to use the bathroom, the timer on the light switch went off and I was in the dark. In heels. Trying to use the bathroom. With my romper around my ankles and no lights. To add to that, it was pitch black dark and I couldn't remember for the life of me where that timer switch was.

Then, I tripped over my romper around my ankles and knocked my head on the side of the wall... stumbling to get up. I felt like I was in a really bad bar fight... at 7am in a coffee shop.

Is this real life?

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