The days and weeks were fun to watch him grow, see how his features changed. Listening to the "goos" and "gahs" were always entertaining and exciting, but still, I had no idea what was to come.
It was even fun taking him to Target and getting awkward questions like "How old is your baby?" when I had to count back and it took my way longer than it would a real mother. "Five months. Wait, no six. FIVE. Its Five." I'm certain that woman walked aware cursing me.
Even though the mere moments in his younger days were so sweet and exciting, nothing compares to the moments now. The moments when you realize his personality has developed and he is a "person" now. He remembers things and people. He calls and asks me questions about things I mentioned in passing to him. When did this happen?
Today I picked him up from school and took him to pick out a toy for his birthday. Naturally, this process was maddness. I'm not used to having a child with me, so even the minor things like getting him in and out of the car can be tasking. Making sure I'm holding his hand in parking lots so he doesnt run out in front of oncoming traffic, making sure he doesnt swollow a gumball whole and then digging it out of his throat in fear that he will do it anways. All of these things create nothing short of maddness. In the middle of all of this maddness Madden whips out a sucker that a lady at the bank gave him. I watched in the rearview mirror as he opened it up, his face filled with excitement. Then he says "Auntie Ann, do you want this sucker?"
"No, Maddy, thats your sucker."
"But, you can have it if you want it cuz I love you."
I can't pinpoint when this shift happened but at some point this kid went from being fun , cuteness and excitement to sheer unconditional love.
In that moment the maddness stopped and there was nothing but love.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Maddy.
I love you more than youll ever know.